K-Group Leadership Reminder!
Please e-mail to me sometime in next several days a two-page Case Reflection on your K-Group experience. This is a 10-point assignment that the class has overlooked. I will assume responsibility for not reminding you in the blog because this is our primary means of communication. The Case Reflection method that you utilized in The Ministerial Person course is the method we utilize at WTS. Thanks for your diligence during an intensive course that appears to have stretched but not exhausted you? Thanks again for your weekly efforts to make this distance education delivery method work you; know my preference for a retreat or classroom context. Teaching/learning a highly reflective/relational discipline via the Internet is a paradox or paradigms, the Retreat in PA was the convergence point for me. It will live on in my heart; your soul connections with one another and me will live on-->now that's Koinonia!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Session #10 - Soul Care
1) Spiritual Questors - Why are you interested in spiritual direction?
I am interested in Spiritual Direction because I have a longing within my spirit to live out my life according to God’s Will for me through direction by the Holy Spirit. Spiritual Direction has provided me with the opportunity to look deep within myself and ask the essential questions that have knocked at the door of my understanding for years: “Why Am I Here?” “What is my Purpose?” “Where does God want me to go?” “What does God want me to do?” “How do I develop a deeper relationship with God and his creation?” All of these questions and many others have caused me to understand that receiving direction from the Holy Spirit through Spiritual Direction is essential to building, sustaining and growing my relationship with God and completing the works and ministries that he has blessed me to participate in within the Kingdom of God.
I believe that Individual and Group Spiritual Direction are essential to Disciples growth in their relationship with God and provides a means for healing, inner contemplation, prayer, meditation, direction and instruction to be provided in the inner most parts of an individual’s spirit to carry out the instructions and direction provided by the Holy Spirit. I want to know God, the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit at the most intimate level and in the deepest manner that I possibly can, and I also want to provide others with help and assistance through listening to the Holy Spirit with them in providing them with direction and focus on what God is speaking to them through the Holy Spirit.
2) Pastor Mark Case Reflection
Case Assessment
Using Spiritual Direction, one of the first issues that I would assess with Mark is whether or not Spiritual Direction is something that he is looking to participate in with me through prayer and direction by the Holy Spirit. He is in a state of mind and spirit right now where he might feel more guilt and shame based upon the affair, negative feelings toward moving, torn relationship with his wife, and other issues that may require a referral to a psychologist, therapist, or pastor. However, Mark is at a point right now where his relationship with God would be strengthened and explored at a much deeper level if he is ready to go on the Journey of one-on-one Spiritual Direction. We would open our sessions in prayer, meditate on Scripture, and then go where the Holy Spirit directs as Mark opens and shares according to the growing trust that I pray will develop throughout this process.
Another assessment that would need to be made during the initial discussions in Spiritual Direction would be to discuss his relationship with God. Why did he feel he was called? Have there been any other times where he has felt that he was not called to be a Pastor? Are there any other Spiritual Leaders that he has conversations with regarding any issues in the past? What is his prayer life like? What is his relationship with his wife, daughters, former church, current church, local council of churches? I would also like to discuss as the Holy Spirit directs the toll that being a Pastor has taken on his life in comparison to his family? Does he do any retreats? What are his Spiritual Disciplines? Does he take vacations?
Another assessment that I pray would be a part that the Holy Spirit would allow Mark to discuss would be his relationship with his parents and any prior relationships he had prior to getting married? What were the dynamics in his home like, which may shed some light on his current choices regarding infidelity through the affair, and doubt in his calling as a Pastor. I believe that the Holy Spirit is meeting Mark right now at the point of one of the lowest times in his life, but that I would be blessed to walk along side in Spiritual Direction to help him hear more clearly the voice of the Holy Spirit. I would also inquire of Mark whether or not he has participated in Spiritual Direction before or any kind of regular intercessory prayer, along with whether or not he has had Spiritual Counseling sessions with any of his parishioners in the past to get a feel for whether or not he has participated in this form or a similar form of Spiritual Direction.
Conceptualization of Case:
My conceptualization of the case is going to be based upon Mark’s relationship with God, both past and present, and the effects of this relationship upon his calling, relationship with this wife, daughters, prior church, current church, leadership in council of churches, finances, and relationship with the woman that he had an affair with.
One of the major issues that I believe needs to be dealt with is Mark’s lack of confidence in his calling as a Pastor. I would prayerfully listen to Mark describe his initial calling by God and then encounter as to where he has felt doubt or uncertainty regarding his calling and his role as a Pastor. Have there been other incidents in his Pastorate where he has felt the same? Who has he shared these doubts with? Wife? Pastors? Members of the Church? Woman he had an affair with? From this point I hope that there would be some more basic understanding of Mark in his relationship and role as Pastor with others that would be disclosed.
Another major issue that I would like to address through the Holy Spirit’s direction is Mark’s feelings regarding change. Is he someone that is adverse to change or embraces it? How does he handle change that he implements or is implemented by others? Is he a “pleaser” or “stand firm alone?” Mark is going through a lot of changes after a long period of stability, and this might help to understand his level of confidence and insecurity in his position as Pastor, as well as, shed some light regarding his relationships with his wife, daughters, prior church family, current church family and leadership of council of churches.
Another issue that I would like to address is to get a deeper understanding of Mark’s relationship with his wife, daughters, prior congregation, current congregation, other Pastors, and the woman that he had an affair with. I would hope that the Holy Spirit would open Mark up to discuss these relationships because they will provide a better understanding relating to his decision making process and feelings regarding each of these relationships. Having a better understanding of the relationship between Mark and his wife may shed light upon why he had an affair and why he has some of the feelings that he has regarding leaving the Pastorate, it may also shed light on his relationship with his daughters and him possibly feeling abandoned and alone with them leaving for college and the one getting married also. This may shed light on him looking for security in the arms of another woman or seeking a feeling that he felt was absent at home. My hope in looking deeper into the relationship with the congregations that he has pastored is to get a better understanding of his leadership, issues within each congregation, securities and insecurities, aspirations and failures to allow the Holy Spirit to shed additional light on his calling and his feeling of doubt and inadequacy regarding his Pastoral Leadership. This may also lead to conversation regarding the woman that he had an affair with and provide an opening for repentance and healing regarding that relationship, along with confession to his wife regarding the affair (which should also be coupled with marriage counseling for both in the future.)
Treatment of Case:
In the treatment of this case, I would look to meet with Mark once every 2 or 3 weeks to get us on a regular pattern of meeting and to allow what the Holy Spirit has provided in each session to sink in and operate within Mark’s life and my own as Spiritual Director to provide for deeper reflection over time. I would look to use or incorporate silent meditation, prayer and journaling as a Spiritual Disciplines throughout the sessions so that Mark can use the journals to reflect upon the Holy Spirit’s direction during the sessions, as well as, his experiences, feelings and decisions that have lead him to this point. We would take the issues and factors presented in a steady pace not seeking to cover too much too fast and seeking to allow the Holy Spirit to take us deeper into those areas that Mark seeks to discuss. I would seek to discuss different aspects of his relationship with God that might tie into his relationship with others, which would provide further insight into his impotency, doubt, insecurity, adultery and other issues that have arisen.
Another treatment aspect that I think would be important at the correct time is to discuss the issues in his marriage separately from the other issues to give it appropriate importance and focus to allow the Holy Spirit to take us deep within this issue that I believe is causing Mark much pain and regret due to his adultery and its effect on his family and Pastoral leadership. This experience I pray would lead to marriage counseling and Mark revealing to his wife his affair, and true repentance and asking of forgiveness to both his wife, daughters, the woman he had the affair with, and possibly his prior congregation.
Another aspect of the treatment that I believe should be implemented is to seek the possibility of whether or not Mark would be comfortable with Group Spiritual Direction in the future with other Pastors to allow him the opportunity to talk with other Spiritual Leaders, have some accountability in leadership, and have a support group in his new situation with the new church.
I believe that Mark is at a great cross roads in his spiritual journey and that one key element will be for Mark to forgive himself and rest in the love that God has for us, while still acknowledging his improper and immoral acts but not condemning himself, but making true repentance and a turning away from those acts and negative spirits that have hindered him in the past. I also believe that the Holy Spirit having us focus on Mark’s relationship with his wife and Christ’s command for husbands to love their wives the way that Christ loves the church will help set some foundation for healing and understanding in one of his foundational relationships that he is clinging to, which will also allow his clinging to move from solely to his marriage but to God who has the ability to heal the entire situation for his glory.
Calhoun, Part 8, Spiritual Growth Planner - Personal Spiritual Discipline
The two Spiritual Disciplines that I experienced during this course that had the highest connection to my current situation and personal spiritual passion is memorization and journaling. As a part of this course, I prayed and decided to memorize Psalm 23. I was blessed to have memorized it in Hebrew; however, I had not memorized it in English. Throughout the time that I recited Psalm 23 in both Hebrew and English everyday I began to experience the Lord being my Shepherd and leading me into green pastures, but I also began to experience going through the Valley of the Shadow of Death and not being afraid because the Lord is with me. I also saw myself in situations, trials and tribulations where I felt the Lord preparing a table before me in the presence of mine enemies through many vicious rumors and lies that are being told about me regarding my ministry and allegiance to God, but it is through these experiences that I know that I must sit at this table that God has prepared in order to receive the anointing that God has for me and my cup that will overflow. I also have experienced through this time that I don’t have to worry about who has my back because Goodness and Mercy are following me ALL the days of my life, so the arrows and darts that are being thrown can’t penetrate the Armour of God, nor will they get past Goodness and Mercy that God has following me. Through the memorization of Psalm 23 I now identify with David’s feelings in talking to God through this Psalm and the issues that he was facing, but how God brought him through. I praise God for God bringing David through because in placing Psalm 23 in my heart through memorization I now benefit from David standing so that I can stand and honor God through being steadfast in the trials and tribulations that I am in and already have the victory over in Christ Jesus.
Journaling has also been an enormous Spiritual Discipline that has blessed me in my ministry that has impacted my life in a great way. The Lord placed on my heart to Journal for the 40 days after Resurrection Sunday up to Ascension Sunday, and the 10 days then leading up to Pentecost Sunday. Through this Journaling God is revealing so much to me regarding the ministries that he is birthing for the Kingdom of God, as well as, confirmation that I am doing what he has instructed me to do in Kingdom building. The Journaling has also been an outlet for my emotions and a vehicle through which the Holy Spirit is meeting me to record my feelings and his instructions to me in leading others through discipleship unto him.
I am interested in Spiritual Direction because I have a longing within my spirit to live out my life according to God’s Will for me through direction by the Holy Spirit. Spiritual Direction has provided me with the opportunity to look deep within myself and ask the essential questions that have knocked at the door of my understanding for years: “Why Am I Here?” “What is my Purpose?” “Where does God want me to go?” “What does God want me to do?” “How do I develop a deeper relationship with God and his creation?” All of these questions and many others have caused me to understand that receiving direction from the Holy Spirit through Spiritual Direction is essential to building, sustaining and growing my relationship with God and completing the works and ministries that he has blessed me to participate in within the Kingdom of God.
I believe that Individual and Group Spiritual Direction are essential to Disciples growth in their relationship with God and provides a means for healing, inner contemplation, prayer, meditation, direction and instruction to be provided in the inner most parts of an individual’s spirit to carry out the instructions and direction provided by the Holy Spirit. I want to know God, the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit at the most intimate level and in the deepest manner that I possibly can, and I also want to provide others with help and assistance through listening to the Holy Spirit with them in providing them with direction and focus on what God is speaking to them through the Holy Spirit.
2) Pastor Mark Case Reflection
Case Assessment
Using Spiritual Direction, one of the first issues that I would assess with Mark is whether or not Spiritual Direction is something that he is looking to participate in with me through prayer and direction by the Holy Spirit. He is in a state of mind and spirit right now where he might feel more guilt and shame based upon the affair, negative feelings toward moving, torn relationship with his wife, and other issues that may require a referral to a psychologist, therapist, or pastor. However, Mark is at a point right now where his relationship with God would be strengthened and explored at a much deeper level if he is ready to go on the Journey of one-on-one Spiritual Direction. We would open our sessions in prayer, meditate on Scripture, and then go where the Holy Spirit directs as Mark opens and shares according to the growing trust that I pray will develop throughout this process.
Another assessment that would need to be made during the initial discussions in Spiritual Direction would be to discuss his relationship with God. Why did he feel he was called? Have there been any other times where he has felt that he was not called to be a Pastor? Are there any other Spiritual Leaders that he has conversations with regarding any issues in the past? What is his prayer life like? What is his relationship with his wife, daughters, former church, current church, local council of churches? I would also like to discuss as the Holy Spirit directs the toll that being a Pastor has taken on his life in comparison to his family? Does he do any retreats? What are his Spiritual Disciplines? Does he take vacations?
Another assessment that I pray would be a part that the Holy Spirit would allow Mark to discuss would be his relationship with his parents and any prior relationships he had prior to getting married? What were the dynamics in his home like, which may shed some light on his current choices regarding infidelity through the affair, and doubt in his calling as a Pastor. I believe that the Holy Spirit is meeting Mark right now at the point of one of the lowest times in his life, but that I would be blessed to walk along side in Spiritual Direction to help him hear more clearly the voice of the Holy Spirit. I would also inquire of Mark whether or not he has participated in Spiritual Direction before or any kind of regular intercessory prayer, along with whether or not he has had Spiritual Counseling sessions with any of his parishioners in the past to get a feel for whether or not he has participated in this form or a similar form of Spiritual Direction.
Conceptualization of Case:
My conceptualization of the case is going to be based upon Mark’s relationship with God, both past and present, and the effects of this relationship upon his calling, relationship with this wife, daughters, prior church, current church, leadership in council of churches, finances, and relationship with the woman that he had an affair with.
One of the major issues that I believe needs to be dealt with is Mark’s lack of confidence in his calling as a Pastor. I would prayerfully listen to Mark describe his initial calling by God and then encounter as to where he has felt doubt or uncertainty regarding his calling and his role as a Pastor. Have there been other incidents in his Pastorate where he has felt the same? Who has he shared these doubts with? Wife? Pastors? Members of the Church? Woman he had an affair with? From this point I hope that there would be some more basic understanding of Mark in his relationship and role as Pastor with others that would be disclosed.
Another major issue that I would like to address through the Holy Spirit’s direction is Mark’s feelings regarding change. Is he someone that is adverse to change or embraces it? How does he handle change that he implements or is implemented by others? Is he a “pleaser” or “stand firm alone?” Mark is going through a lot of changes after a long period of stability, and this might help to understand his level of confidence and insecurity in his position as Pastor, as well as, shed some light regarding his relationships with his wife, daughters, prior church family, current church family and leadership of council of churches.
Another issue that I would like to address is to get a deeper understanding of Mark’s relationship with his wife, daughters, prior congregation, current congregation, other Pastors, and the woman that he had an affair with. I would hope that the Holy Spirit would open Mark up to discuss these relationships because they will provide a better understanding relating to his decision making process and feelings regarding each of these relationships. Having a better understanding of the relationship between Mark and his wife may shed light upon why he had an affair and why he has some of the feelings that he has regarding leaving the Pastorate, it may also shed light on his relationship with his daughters and him possibly feeling abandoned and alone with them leaving for college and the one getting married also. This may shed light on him looking for security in the arms of another woman or seeking a feeling that he felt was absent at home. My hope in looking deeper into the relationship with the congregations that he has pastored is to get a better understanding of his leadership, issues within each congregation, securities and insecurities, aspirations and failures to allow the Holy Spirit to shed additional light on his calling and his feeling of doubt and inadequacy regarding his Pastoral Leadership. This may also lead to conversation regarding the woman that he had an affair with and provide an opening for repentance and healing regarding that relationship, along with confession to his wife regarding the affair (which should also be coupled with marriage counseling for both in the future.)
Treatment of Case:
In the treatment of this case, I would look to meet with Mark once every 2 or 3 weeks to get us on a regular pattern of meeting and to allow what the Holy Spirit has provided in each session to sink in and operate within Mark’s life and my own as Spiritual Director to provide for deeper reflection over time. I would look to use or incorporate silent meditation, prayer and journaling as a Spiritual Disciplines throughout the sessions so that Mark can use the journals to reflect upon the Holy Spirit’s direction during the sessions, as well as, his experiences, feelings and decisions that have lead him to this point. We would take the issues and factors presented in a steady pace not seeking to cover too much too fast and seeking to allow the Holy Spirit to take us deeper into those areas that Mark seeks to discuss. I would seek to discuss different aspects of his relationship with God that might tie into his relationship with others, which would provide further insight into his impotency, doubt, insecurity, adultery and other issues that have arisen.
Another treatment aspect that I think would be important at the correct time is to discuss the issues in his marriage separately from the other issues to give it appropriate importance and focus to allow the Holy Spirit to take us deep within this issue that I believe is causing Mark much pain and regret due to his adultery and its effect on his family and Pastoral leadership. This experience I pray would lead to marriage counseling and Mark revealing to his wife his affair, and true repentance and asking of forgiveness to both his wife, daughters, the woman he had the affair with, and possibly his prior congregation.
Another aspect of the treatment that I believe should be implemented is to seek the possibility of whether or not Mark would be comfortable with Group Spiritual Direction in the future with other Pastors to allow him the opportunity to talk with other Spiritual Leaders, have some accountability in leadership, and have a support group in his new situation with the new church.
I believe that Mark is at a great cross roads in his spiritual journey and that one key element will be for Mark to forgive himself and rest in the love that God has for us, while still acknowledging his improper and immoral acts but not condemning himself, but making true repentance and a turning away from those acts and negative spirits that have hindered him in the past. I also believe that the Holy Spirit having us focus on Mark’s relationship with his wife and Christ’s command for husbands to love their wives the way that Christ loves the church will help set some foundation for healing and understanding in one of his foundational relationships that he is clinging to, which will also allow his clinging to move from solely to his marriage but to God who has the ability to heal the entire situation for his glory.
Calhoun, Part 8, Spiritual Growth Planner - Personal Spiritual Discipline
The two Spiritual Disciplines that I experienced during this course that had the highest connection to my current situation and personal spiritual passion is memorization and journaling. As a part of this course, I prayed and decided to memorize Psalm 23. I was blessed to have memorized it in Hebrew; however, I had not memorized it in English. Throughout the time that I recited Psalm 23 in both Hebrew and English everyday I began to experience the Lord being my Shepherd and leading me into green pastures, but I also began to experience going through the Valley of the Shadow of Death and not being afraid because the Lord is with me. I also saw myself in situations, trials and tribulations where I felt the Lord preparing a table before me in the presence of mine enemies through many vicious rumors and lies that are being told about me regarding my ministry and allegiance to God, but it is through these experiences that I know that I must sit at this table that God has prepared in order to receive the anointing that God has for me and my cup that will overflow. I also have experienced through this time that I don’t have to worry about who has my back because Goodness and Mercy are following me ALL the days of my life, so the arrows and darts that are being thrown can’t penetrate the Armour of God, nor will they get past Goodness and Mercy that God has following me. Through the memorization of Psalm 23 I now identify with David’s feelings in talking to God through this Psalm and the issues that he was facing, but how God brought him through. I praise God for God bringing David through because in placing Psalm 23 in my heart through memorization I now benefit from David standing so that I can stand and honor God through being steadfast in the trials and tribulations that I am in and already have the victory over in Christ Jesus.
Journaling has also been an enormous Spiritual Discipline that has blessed me in my ministry that has impacted my life in a great way. The Lord placed on my heart to Journal for the 40 days after Resurrection Sunday up to Ascension Sunday, and the 10 days then leading up to Pentecost Sunday. Through this Journaling God is revealing so much to me regarding the ministries that he is birthing for the Kingdom of God, as well as, confirmation that I am doing what he has instructed me to do in Kingdom building. The Journaling has also been an outlet for my emotions and a vehicle through which the Holy Spirit is meeting me to record my feelings and his instructions to me in leading others through discipleship unto him.
Monday, April 7, 2008
completing 9 & 10
Calhoun, Part 7, Inner-Healing Prayer
While I have never heard the term “inner-healing prayer” before, I have on a number of occasions practiced this with clergy friends. I tend to agree with Richard Rohr’s suggestion that “pain that is not transformed it transmitted”. I have been struggling with trying to go deeper in my reflections and meditation periods. Keeping in touch with my inner feelings and emotions is at sometimes more challenging and difficult than others. What helps me however is paying attention to my actions, words that I express and sometimes, my inability to focus. Usually these things give me a clue that inwardly something is not quite right. Practicing this method of prayer with my friend at Easter seemed uniquely different from other times we prayed in similar fashion. This time it was as if our prayer took theme of the resurrection. It was like walking into the tomb of dead things, not knowing what to expect except this time, instead of the tomb being empty it was full of things that could rob us of spiritual life if not brought to Jesus. At the end of our prayer time we gave thanks for the Christ being the resurrection and the One who is able to bring new life to dead things. Of course this is not the end of the journey. God always reveals enough to us to keep us coming to him for new life. I just praise God for His mercy and love.
Session #10, "Soul Care", (Benner & Moon text, pp. 187-249) 1) Spiritual Questors: Why are you interested in spiritual direction?
My interest in spiritual direction grew out of my desire to experience a more intimate relationship with God and people. In doing ministry, we become as “broken bread and poured out wine”, especially when we give it our all. Oswald Chambers pointed out in one his devotions that, broken bread and poured out wine comes as a result of obeying God. He also points out how important it is that we not hold back but allow God to replace it and fill us with more of what we need to keep going. Now I am paraphrasing his statements but you get the essence of what he was saying. For years I have had a holistic and authentic religious framework for interpreting and giving meaning to my experiencing whether those experiences were religious or secular in nature. The interest in spiritual direction just came out of a need to go deeper with God and to strip away the layers that me from getting closer to him.
There are numerous distractions that I contend with, many of which come from the many voices of the secular world, as well as from within the context of church work. The church work is what keeps me busy. Church work is incidental to the spiritual work or the “work of the church. I find that spiritual direction better enables me to hear what God is saying to Ben about Ben as well as what God is saying regarding the many situations that I continue to encounter which need my spiritual attention.
Spiritual direction helps me to sharpen my spiritual acumen. It renders me better equipped to come alongside others with a sensitivity that keeps me both empathetic with the people I serve and attentive to God’s direction as a counsel, preach, teach and serve as an administrator in God’s work. Spiritual direction helps me to get out of my own way by positioning me.2) Case Reflection: Reflect on the Pastor Mark Case, this type of case reflection can provide some insights into what a Senior Capstone Case Reflection could be for MAFM students. Briefly describe your Case Reflection of the Pastor Mark Case utilizing the format utilized in the Benner & Moon text: a. Case Assessment, b. Conceptualization of the Case, and c. Treatment of the Case. You may integrate insights from other sources such as: a. Other WTS courses, b. Other training, c. Your life and ministry experience, and d. Personal insight.
a. Case Assessment:
In my initial session with Mark I would focus my attention on trying to discern his primary reason for seeking spiritual direction as well as where he is in his relationship with God. How important is his relationship with God to him? What kind of a prayer life does he have? Apart from teaching and preaching, what value does God’s Word hold for him? What is his level spiritual maturity? How open and transparent does he appear to be? The answer to some of these questions may best be answered by discernment while listening to pastor Mark as he tells his story.
I would also ask Mark concerning the “grace moments” in his life. When did he last see God at work and delivering him in other situations? I would ask him to look as far back as his childhood to answer the question. Getting Mark to look back into his past may reveal some reoccurring themes that could possibly have started with things that he witnessed in childhood.
b. Conceptualization of the Case:
There are a several important simultaneous issues going on in pastor Mike’s life, some of which he has little to no real control over.
He is very attractive with a modest build – magnet for propositions by female congregants.
He has two daughters who have left home, one in the process of getting married: empty nest syndrome
He is fifty years young: possible mid-life crisis issue
Very successful past – possible pride issues going on
There are other issues over which Mark does have control over:
Engaging in extramarital affair
Isolating his wife from her friends
Denying wife’s suspicion of extramarital affair until recently
Failure to share with prior church his sin and ask for forgiveness
Concealing from his present church his real reason for leaving prior church
Staying with or leaving his wife
Benner writes in his book, “The Gift of Bing Yourself” that “We do not find our true self by seeking it. Rather, we find it by seeking God.” I suspect, given the data concerning pastor Mike and his past, that he has not in the habit of seeking counsel of his wife or God, but rather in the habit of relying on his own giftedness and ability to fix things. He makes the decision to move, an attempt to distance himself from the problem. He makes the decision to be his own judge and jury which further exasperates his problem. His moving to a completely opposite environment with much less resources, as well as taking on an additional new role, not only ends up isolating his wife from her friends, but also further isolates them from each other. There are a number who he keeps in the dark concerning this matter, God, both churches, his children and for as long as he could, his wife. All of these concealments, along with the extramarital affair, have greatly contributed to his sense of low-self esteem and the guilt that he has been carrying on with him pertaining to the affair. Perhaps these issues are merely symptoms of a core problem such as selfishness or self-centeredness, which in essence is really a sin problem.
Approach to treatment of the case:
My goal in helping Mike would be to first help him to see the loving and forgiving God of Scripture. Until he can understand God’s unconditional love towards him, there is very little chance of him ever being able to forgive himself within the context of the church, his primary reason for being confused as to whether he should continue in the faith.
Secondly, I would work towards help Mike to develop a positive self image of himself by exploring with him the positive view that God holds of him. Being able to see ourselves as God sees us in the beginning of building a positive self image, as opposed to having prideful self him which is the other side of the low-self esteem coin.
Thirdly, my goal would be to help Mike to understand that God truly wants us to bring him both the good and bad sides of ourselves. I would like to help him see that He takes us as we are and when we are transparent with him about who we are, he in turn reveals to us the “high road.” I would try to assist him in seeing that by not being honest with God, we give into the temptation of being dishonest with self, family and others.
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Fifthly, I would suggest to Mike that he create for himself, a system of accountability. Not having anyone to share his deepest worries and temptations with leaves Mike vulnerable and with a sense of superiority and pride that could easily lead to a relapse. He truly needs an accountability partner with whom he can both share and receive the same from.
Lastly, I would want Mike to see that as a leader it is important and healthy for him to model for those he leads, the proper way of restoring and reconciling broken relationships, whether those relationships issue are between God, family or church members. He does need to assume responsibility for his action and inactions, including the less obvious, the issue of having total respect and trust in his spouses love for him. We would explore the life of king David who, even though he had faults, God did not give up on him.
Paraphrasing the goal of spirituality in the Wesleyan mode, I would attempt to bring Mike into the experience of sanctifying grace whereby his inner sin is cleansed, his image of God restored, and his heart so filled with divine love that he is able to love God with all his heart, mind soul and strength and his neighbors as himself.’ (Spiritual Direction and Care of Souls pg 116)
While I have never heard the term “inner-healing prayer” before, I have on a number of occasions practiced this with clergy friends. I tend to agree with Richard Rohr’s suggestion that “pain that is not transformed it transmitted”. I have been struggling with trying to go deeper in my reflections and meditation periods. Keeping in touch with my inner feelings and emotions is at sometimes more challenging and difficult than others. What helps me however is paying attention to my actions, words that I express and sometimes, my inability to focus. Usually these things give me a clue that inwardly something is not quite right. Practicing this method of prayer with my friend at Easter seemed uniquely different from other times we prayed in similar fashion. This time it was as if our prayer took theme of the resurrection. It was like walking into the tomb of dead things, not knowing what to expect except this time, instead of the tomb being empty it was full of things that could rob us of spiritual life if not brought to Jesus. At the end of our prayer time we gave thanks for the Christ being the resurrection and the One who is able to bring new life to dead things. Of course this is not the end of the journey. God always reveals enough to us to keep us coming to him for new life. I just praise God for His mercy and love.
Session #10, "Soul Care", (Benner & Moon text, pp. 187-249) 1) Spiritual Questors: Why are you interested in spiritual direction?
My interest in spiritual direction grew out of my desire to experience a more intimate relationship with God and people. In doing ministry, we become as “broken bread and poured out wine”, especially when we give it our all. Oswald Chambers pointed out in one his devotions that, broken bread and poured out wine comes as a result of obeying God. He also points out how important it is that we not hold back but allow God to replace it and fill us with more of what we need to keep going. Now I am paraphrasing his statements but you get the essence of what he was saying. For years I have had a holistic and authentic religious framework for interpreting and giving meaning to my experiencing whether those experiences were religious or secular in nature. The interest in spiritual direction just came out of a need to go deeper with God and to strip away the layers that me from getting closer to him.
There are numerous distractions that I contend with, many of which come from the many voices of the secular world, as well as from within the context of church work. The church work is what keeps me busy. Church work is incidental to the spiritual work or the “work of the church. I find that spiritual direction better enables me to hear what God is saying to Ben about Ben as well as what God is saying regarding the many situations that I continue to encounter which need my spiritual attention.
Spiritual direction helps me to sharpen my spiritual acumen. It renders me better equipped to come alongside others with a sensitivity that keeps me both empathetic with the people I serve and attentive to God’s direction as a counsel, preach, teach and serve as an administrator in God’s work. Spiritual direction helps me to get out of my own way by positioning me.2) Case Reflection: Reflect on the Pastor Mark Case, this type of case reflection can provide some insights into what a Senior Capstone Case Reflection could be for MAFM students. Briefly describe your Case Reflection of the Pastor Mark Case utilizing the format utilized in the Benner & Moon text: a. Case Assessment, b. Conceptualization of the Case, and c. Treatment of the Case. You may integrate insights from other sources such as: a. Other WTS courses, b. Other training, c. Your life and ministry experience, and d. Personal insight.
a. Case Assessment:
In my initial session with Mark I would focus my attention on trying to discern his primary reason for seeking spiritual direction as well as where he is in his relationship with God. How important is his relationship with God to him? What kind of a prayer life does he have? Apart from teaching and preaching, what value does God’s Word hold for him? What is his level spiritual maturity? How open and transparent does he appear to be? The answer to some of these questions may best be answered by discernment while listening to pastor Mark as he tells his story.
I would also ask Mark concerning the “grace moments” in his life. When did he last see God at work and delivering him in other situations? I would ask him to look as far back as his childhood to answer the question. Getting Mark to look back into his past may reveal some reoccurring themes that could possibly have started with things that he witnessed in childhood.
b. Conceptualization of the Case:
There are a several important simultaneous issues going on in pastor Mike’s life, some of which he has little to no real control over.
He is very attractive with a modest build – magnet for propositions by female congregants.
He has two daughters who have left home, one in the process of getting married: empty nest syndrome
He is fifty years young: possible mid-life crisis issue
Very successful past – possible pride issues going on
There are other issues over which Mark does have control over:
Engaging in extramarital affair
Isolating his wife from her friends
Denying wife’s suspicion of extramarital affair until recently
Failure to share with prior church his sin and ask for forgiveness
Concealing from his present church his real reason for leaving prior church
Staying with or leaving his wife
Benner writes in his book, “The Gift of Bing Yourself” that “We do not find our true self by seeking it. Rather, we find it by seeking God.” I suspect, given the data concerning pastor Mike and his past, that he has not in the habit of seeking counsel of his wife or God, but rather in the habit of relying on his own giftedness and ability to fix things. He makes the decision to move, an attempt to distance himself from the problem. He makes the decision to be his own judge and jury which further exasperates his problem. His moving to a completely opposite environment with much less resources, as well as taking on an additional new role, not only ends up isolating his wife from her friends, but also further isolates them from each other. There are a number who he keeps in the dark concerning this matter, God, both churches, his children and for as long as he could, his wife. All of these concealments, along with the extramarital affair, have greatly contributed to his sense of low-self esteem and the guilt that he has been carrying on with him pertaining to the affair. Perhaps these issues are merely symptoms of a core problem such as selfishness or self-centeredness, which in essence is really a sin problem.
Approach to treatment of the case:
My goal in helping Mike would be to first help him to see the loving and forgiving God of Scripture. Until he can understand God’s unconditional love towards him, there is very little chance of him ever being able to forgive himself within the context of the church, his primary reason for being confused as to whether he should continue in the faith.
Secondly, I would work towards help Mike to develop a positive self image of himself by exploring with him the positive view that God holds of him. Being able to see ourselves as God sees us in the beginning of building a positive self image, as opposed to having prideful self him which is the other side of the low-self esteem coin.
Thirdly, my goal would be to help Mike to understand that God truly wants us to bring him both the good and bad sides of ourselves. I would like to help him see that He takes us as we are and when we are transparent with him about who we are, he in turn reveals to us the “high road.” I would try to assist him in seeing that by not being honest with God, we give into the temptation of being dishonest with self, family and others.
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Fifthly, I would suggest to Mike that he create for himself, a system of accountability. Not having anyone to share his deepest worries and temptations with leaves Mike vulnerable and with a sense of superiority and pride that could easily lead to a relapse. He truly needs an accountability partner with whom he can both share and receive the same from.
Lastly, I would want Mike to see that as a leader it is important and healthy for him to model for those he leads, the proper way of restoring and reconciling broken relationships, whether those relationships issue are between God, family or church members. He does need to assume responsibility for his action and inactions, including the less obvious, the issue of having total respect and trust in his spouses love for him. We would explore the life of king David who, even though he had faults, God did not give up on him.
Paraphrasing the goal of spirituality in the Wesleyan mode, I would attempt to bring Mike into the experience of sanctifying grace whereby his inner sin is cleansed, his image of God restored, and his heart so filled with divine love that he is able to love God with all his heart, mind soul and strength and his neighbors as himself.’ (Spiritual Direction and Care of Souls pg 116)
Saturday, April 5, 2008
finishing 9 and 10
Calhoun, Part 7, Inner-Healing PrayerThis spiritual discipline connects with our discussion and reflection in the Benner & Moon material this week. Take an hour this week to practice this spiritual discipline with a trusted friend. Be prepared to encounter the Lord who is risen and alive! This is an Easter discipline that focuses upon the healing and new life in Christ. Share your appropriate reflection on this experience; keep personal those items that should not be shared on a public forum like this blog site. Thank you!
I did not forget about this discipline. I was going to share time when with a friend I have prayed with them about a hurt that they had. Like the one time the Holy Spirit revealed to my friend who had been neglected by her biological mother, that her mother really cares. This came as the Holy Spirit revealed to her the message from a salt and pepper shakers sitting on my stove. She saw the letters PS and remembered a song PS I love you!, tears formed in her eyes as she realized that her biological mother did love her even thought she had to giver her up at birth. PTL. Or another time when the reading of a Psalm brought to my friend exactly the words she needed to hear in her anguish. But I really wanted to respond for me. I read and reread this section knowing that I also needed healing for wounds hid from so long ago. Yet I couldn’t do this on my own. Our teacher had given me a form to fill out with a trusted friend (or counselor) for inner healing. I have been looking for a good Christian Counselor in the Lima area and have not been able to locate one- so if any of you know of a good Christian counselor, I would be willing to travel. Art after reading your blog, I knew that I needed to share some of this with my trusted friend, my husband and did start out telling him that after I see the counselor, I might be revealing some of my past with him. He asked what I was talking about, and I was unable to share with him. I still have fear of the past hurting me in some way. I think I need to first rehearse and open up to a counselor or a spiritual director before sharing with my husband. Please pray for me. I know God has forgiven me, and I think I have forgiven myself, Now to open up and reveal a secret from over 20 years is very intimidating. I do feel really good and privileged when others pray for me.
Session #10, "Soul Care", (Benner & Moon text, pp. 187-249)
Now for the case of the Confused Pastor.
Case Assessment- I like to list facts as I had read them in our book: Mark is a 50 year old Caucasian male.
He is married. Has 2 grown daughters. Is a pastor who has recently changed his congregation. He feels sad and has sexual difficulties (impotence). He has recently ended an affair and he is questioning his pastorate.
Conceptualization of the CASE: Mark is going through many changes in his life. I will outline what I see these changes are, not in any order, just a list: From a large (maybe successful) church to a small one
From support to a new congregation
From economic security and a place of power to a small congregation in a needy community
From being a father to 2 daughters to the girls growing and moving away (college and soon giving on up to another in marriage)
From an affair and denying it to the revelation of it in the past two weeks
From pasturing and ministry to questions about leaving the church.
And Mark is 50 years old, this is the time many men go through a “Mid life crisis”
Marks feelings of sadness, questions and sexual difficulty go together. For me one cannot separate the physical, emotional (psychological) and spiritual from each other. We are whole beings and one area of life effects all areas of life.
TREATING THE CASE: After praying for Mark even before opening the door to see him, I would start with setting a mood of safety and compassion, in an atmosphere of confidentiality and comfort. I might start with some questioner, if the discussion seems to be at a stand still. If Mark is open, I might outline the changes listed above and ask him to add to them or clarify them and then asking him to prioritize which ones he would like to work on first.
Just a footnote here: It really depends on why Mark came to see me? Am I a counselor in this role or a spiritual director? These two do for me take on a different role and I play a counselor and do psychological assessment to see how depressed or suicidal he is or am I a spiritual director who needs to refer him on to a psychologist if the need is warranted?
PERSONAL INSGIHTS: I really appreciated reading how each of the three ladies handled this case. It really does depend on what perspective you have. The end results or goal is the same. They all cared about him and wanted transformation for him, yet the procedure was very different. “Faith is the central meaning-making principle or framework. The goal is transformation.” (pg 236) yet how one gets to this is dependent on three points1) how willing Mark is to work on these issues
2) the orientation of the healer- counselor- or director. Which of the below methods will be used first and when?
(Medication, therapy, psychological assessment, prayer, meditation, confession, healing of past hurts, changing behaviors, and growing spiritually can be addressed at various times in these sessions. )
3) The power and presence of the Holy Spirit. Yes this is a great opportunity for Mark to grow and mature. God, through the Holy Spirit reveals to both Mark and the person working with him as to what areas need to be revealed and worked on. This is a process that takes time. There are the immediate needs _rule out suicide and help alleviate the pain of sadness or depression, and then work on the multiple systems that need healing. Relationship with God- For most needed. Relationship with wife, relationships with church members, old congregation (including the one he had an affair with), and even new one. Relationship with his daughter and his spiritual beliefs about marriage-, as she embarks on a new life of marriage. (Is there a discrepancy between –ideal and real- theology of trust in marriage and moral values like faithfulness and what his life practice has been?)
If I sound like I am all over the place, I feel that, for I still need clarity as to my role in this. On page 239 I like what I read, that maybe helps clarify some of this for me: “The discipline of psychology has a primary orientation that connects the past to present, while pastoral counseling primarily attends to the present state of a client’s life and spiritual direction is more focused on creating the future context for a client’s reality.”
Which role I will play depends on concentrating on the present, looking at the past for patterns and healing or at the future.
I did not forget about this discipline. I was going to share time when with a friend I have prayed with them about a hurt that they had. Like the one time the Holy Spirit revealed to my friend who had been neglected by her biological mother, that her mother really cares. This came as the Holy Spirit revealed to her the message from a salt and pepper shakers sitting on my stove. She saw the letters PS and remembered a song PS I love you!, tears formed in her eyes as she realized that her biological mother did love her even thought she had to giver her up at birth. PTL. Or another time when the reading of a Psalm brought to my friend exactly the words she needed to hear in her anguish. But I really wanted to respond for me. I read and reread this section knowing that I also needed healing for wounds hid from so long ago. Yet I couldn’t do this on my own. Our teacher had given me a form to fill out with a trusted friend (or counselor) for inner healing. I have been looking for a good Christian Counselor in the Lima area and have not been able to locate one- so if any of you know of a good Christian counselor, I would be willing to travel. Art after reading your blog, I knew that I needed to share some of this with my trusted friend, my husband and did start out telling him that after I see the counselor, I might be revealing some of my past with him. He asked what I was talking about, and I was unable to share with him. I still have fear of the past hurting me in some way. I think I need to first rehearse and open up to a counselor or a spiritual director before sharing with my husband. Please pray for me. I know God has forgiven me, and I think I have forgiven myself, Now to open up and reveal a secret from over 20 years is very intimidating. I do feel really good and privileged when others pray for me.
Session #10, "Soul Care", (Benner & Moon text, pp. 187-249)
Now for the case of the Confused Pastor.
Case Assessment- I like to list facts as I had read them in our book: Mark is a 50 year old Caucasian male.
He is married. Has 2 grown daughters. Is a pastor who has recently changed his congregation. He feels sad and has sexual difficulties (impotence). He has recently ended an affair and he is questioning his pastorate.
Conceptualization of the CASE: Mark is going through many changes in his life. I will outline what I see these changes are, not in any order, just a list: From a large (maybe successful) church to a small one
From support to a new congregation
From economic security and a place of power to a small congregation in a needy community
From being a father to 2 daughters to the girls growing and moving away (college and soon giving on up to another in marriage)
From an affair and denying it to the revelation of it in the past two weeks
From pasturing and ministry to questions about leaving the church.
And Mark is 50 years old, this is the time many men go through a “Mid life crisis”
Marks feelings of sadness, questions and sexual difficulty go together. For me one cannot separate the physical, emotional (psychological) and spiritual from each other. We are whole beings and one area of life effects all areas of life.
TREATING THE CASE: After praying for Mark even before opening the door to see him, I would start with setting a mood of safety and compassion, in an atmosphere of confidentiality and comfort. I might start with some questioner, if the discussion seems to be at a stand still. If Mark is open, I might outline the changes listed above and ask him to add to them or clarify them and then asking him to prioritize which ones he would like to work on first.
Just a footnote here: It really depends on why Mark came to see me? Am I a counselor in this role or a spiritual director? These two do for me take on a different role and I play a counselor and do psychological assessment to see how depressed or suicidal he is or am I a spiritual director who needs to refer him on to a psychologist if the need is warranted?
PERSONAL INSGIHTS: I really appreciated reading how each of the three ladies handled this case. It really does depend on what perspective you have. The end results or goal is the same. They all cared about him and wanted transformation for him, yet the procedure was very different. “Faith is the central meaning-making principle or framework. The goal is transformation.” (pg 236) yet how one gets to this is dependent on three points1) how willing Mark is to work on these issues
2) the orientation of the healer- counselor- or director. Which of the below methods will be used first and when?
(Medication, therapy, psychological assessment, prayer, meditation, confession, healing of past hurts, changing behaviors, and growing spiritually can be addressed at various times in these sessions. )
3) The power and presence of the Holy Spirit. Yes this is a great opportunity for Mark to grow and mature. God, through the Holy Spirit reveals to both Mark and the person working with him as to what areas need to be revealed and worked on. This is a process that takes time. There are the immediate needs _rule out suicide and help alleviate the pain of sadness or depression, and then work on the multiple systems that need healing. Relationship with God- For most needed. Relationship with wife, relationships with church members, old congregation (including the one he had an affair with), and even new one. Relationship with his daughter and his spiritual beliefs about marriage-, as she embarks on a new life of marriage. (Is there a discrepancy between –ideal and real- theology of trust in marriage and moral values like faithfulness and what his life practice has been?)
If I sound like I am all over the place, I feel that, for I still need clarity as to my role in this. On page 239 I like what I read, that maybe helps clarify some of this for me: “The discipline of psychology has a primary orientation that connects the past to present, while pastoral counseling primarily attends to the present state of a client’s life and spiritual direction is more focused on creating the future context for a client’s reality.”
Which role I will play depends on concentrating on the present, looking at the past for patterns and healing or at the future.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Session #10
I am interested in spiritual direction because I feel that it is an important ministry/discipline to learn. I want to hear the voice of God more clearly and I want to be able to serve him more faithfully. I not only want to hear his voice, but I want to heed his will. I want my spirit to yield to the Spirit of God. I know that this takes discipline and prayer. I have a difficult time managing my stress. I often feel it in my joints, particularly in my neck and in my lower back. I also have trouble with distraction when I pray. My mind often races or I start thinking about the paper I have to write, the dinner I need to prepare, or the phone call I need to make. I believe that is I practice the art of spiritual direction; it will help me to be able to concentrate and focus better. I also think that it will alleviate a great deal of “bad stress” in my life. I also would like to lead others in my church community in spiritual direction, eventually. I believe that it will be valuable to others as well. One of my favorite scriptures is JN 4:23, “But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him.”
I plan to continue my K group and continue to practice the spiritual disciplines. I will be prayerfully seeking guidance, as I look for a spiritual director who will take a spiritual journey with me. As I continue in seminary and in my church ministry I believe that spiritual direction will help me to be more open and yielded to the Holy Spirit. I would also like to be able to focus better in my prayer life. I really enjoyed the hours of silence that I had on my mini-retreat experience. I was so surprised at how fast the time went. I also felt such peace and joy after leaving Our Lady of the Pines. I will treasure that experience. I certainly hope that it will not be my last time.
Pastor Mark Case Reflection
Background: Mark is a 50 year old pastor who has been married for over twenty years, with two adult daughters. Both daughters are away in college, one of whom is getting married in the near future. Recently, Mark has transitioned from a large, thriving church to a small, inner city church. He has shared that he is unhappy and unsure of God’s will for his life.
Description: Pastor Mark has come for spiritual direction and guidance. He has shared that he is very sad and unhappy with his life. He is suffering from sexual dysfunction (impotence) which has added to his unhappiness, stress, and worry. He states that he is uncertain as to where he is spiritually. He has also shared that he is beginning to question his calling to the ministry. He has admitted to having a long-term affair with a former parishioner in his previous pastorate, which he has recently ended. His wife has grown suspicious and his questioning his fidelity and commitment to his marriage. At this time, Mark has not admitted the affair to his wife.
Analysis: Mark seems to be at a crossroads in his personal life, as well as his ministry. He also is exhibiting some of the classic symptoms of depression. His sexual dysfunction quite possibly is connected to, or a symptom of his depression and/or the guilt associated with his recent affair. He seems to be grieving a series of losses in his life: the loss of a successful pastorate, the loss of a long-term lover, and the “loss” of his daughter, as she prepares to marry. He also seems to be having trouble adjusting to his new church, which could possibly be due to a cultural barrier. All of these events have contributed to Mark’s present spiritual condition.
Evaluation: First, Mark’s symptoms of depression and sexual dysfunction should be diagnosed by a licensed physician. A referral to a psychologist and/ or psychiatrist may be necessary. He will also definitely benefit from spiritual direction. Mark seems open and ready to begin to help heal his wounds. Mark has not stated if he has repented of his sexual sins. I would encourage him to first seek reconciliation with God and with his wife before moving ahead with spiritual direction. I believe that I will be able to assist Mark as he confronts the realities of his sin and its consequences, and help to guide him as he prepares to move to higher ground.
Theological Reflections: I must remember that I am not to offer solutions or push my opinions or ideas on Mark. I will try to be a calming and healing presence in Mark’s life. Mark is very confused, hurt, depressed, and guilt-laden. He must first deal with his sin before he will be able to work on finding out what he is to do with his ministry. I will encourage Mark to be totally open and honest with his wife. I will encourage Mark to consider an extended vacation or sabbatical so that Mark can concentrate exclusively on healing himself and his marriage. I will prepare a referral list to have available for Mark. I want to be able to offer a few names of professional Christian marriage counselors for Mark and his wife. I will also encourage him to see his primary care physician to rule out any medical reasons for his depression and sexual dysfunction. I will also remind him that God loves him unconditionally and he needs to be able to forgive himself for his actions, before he can accept forgiveness from God or from his wife.
*Format taken from Shared Wisdom: a Guide to Case Study Reflection in Ministry, Mahan, Troxell, and Allen, 1993.
I am interested in spiritual direction because I feel that it is an important ministry/discipline to learn. I want to hear the voice of God more clearly and I want to be able to serve him more faithfully. I not only want to hear his voice, but I want to heed his will. I want my spirit to yield to the Spirit of God. I know that this takes discipline and prayer. I have a difficult time managing my stress. I often feel it in my joints, particularly in my neck and in my lower back. I also have trouble with distraction when I pray. My mind often races or I start thinking about the paper I have to write, the dinner I need to prepare, or the phone call I need to make. I believe that is I practice the art of spiritual direction; it will help me to be able to concentrate and focus better. I also think that it will alleviate a great deal of “bad stress” in my life. I also would like to lead others in my church community in spiritual direction, eventually. I believe that it will be valuable to others as well. One of my favorite scriptures is JN 4:23, “But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father seeks such as these to worship him.”
I plan to continue my K group and continue to practice the spiritual disciplines. I will be prayerfully seeking guidance, as I look for a spiritual director who will take a spiritual journey with me. As I continue in seminary and in my church ministry I believe that spiritual direction will help me to be more open and yielded to the Holy Spirit. I would also like to be able to focus better in my prayer life. I really enjoyed the hours of silence that I had on my mini-retreat experience. I was so surprised at how fast the time went. I also felt such peace and joy after leaving Our Lady of the Pines. I will treasure that experience. I certainly hope that it will not be my last time.
Pastor Mark Case Reflection
Background: Mark is a 50 year old pastor who has been married for over twenty years, with two adult daughters. Both daughters are away in college, one of whom is getting married in the near future. Recently, Mark has transitioned from a large, thriving church to a small, inner city church. He has shared that he is unhappy and unsure of God’s will for his life.
Description: Pastor Mark has come for spiritual direction and guidance. He has shared that he is very sad and unhappy with his life. He is suffering from sexual dysfunction (impotence) which has added to his unhappiness, stress, and worry. He states that he is uncertain as to where he is spiritually. He has also shared that he is beginning to question his calling to the ministry. He has admitted to having a long-term affair with a former parishioner in his previous pastorate, which he has recently ended. His wife has grown suspicious and his questioning his fidelity and commitment to his marriage. At this time, Mark has not admitted the affair to his wife.
Analysis: Mark seems to be at a crossroads in his personal life, as well as his ministry. He also is exhibiting some of the classic symptoms of depression. His sexual dysfunction quite possibly is connected to, or a symptom of his depression and/or the guilt associated with his recent affair. He seems to be grieving a series of losses in his life: the loss of a successful pastorate, the loss of a long-term lover, and the “loss” of his daughter, as she prepares to marry. He also seems to be having trouble adjusting to his new church, which could possibly be due to a cultural barrier. All of these events have contributed to Mark’s present spiritual condition.
Evaluation: First, Mark’s symptoms of depression and sexual dysfunction should be diagnosed by a licensed physician. A referral to a psychologist and/ or psychiatrist may be necessary. He will also definitely benefit from spiritual direction. Mark seems open and ready to begin to help heal his wounds. Mark has not stated if he has repented of his sexual sins. I would encourage him to first seek reconciliation with God and with his wife before moving ahead with spiritual direction. I believe that I will be able to assist Mark as he confronts the realities of his sin and its consequences, and help to guide him as he prepares to move to higher ground.
Theological Reflections: I must remember that I am not to offer solutions or push my opinions or ideas on Mark. I will try to be a calming and healing presence in Mark’s life. Mark is very confused, hurt, depressed, and guilt-laden. He must first deal with his sin before he will be able to work on finding out what he is to do with his ministry. I will encourage Mark to be totally open and honest with his wife. I will encourage Mark to consider an extended vacation or sabbatical so that Mark can concentrate exclusively on healing himself and his marriage. I will prepare a referral list to have available for Mark. I want to be able to offer a few names of professional Christian marriage counselors for Mark and his wife. I will also encourage him to see his primary care physician to rule out any medical reasons for his depression and sexual dysfunction. I will also remind him that God loves him unconditionally and he needs to be able to forgive himself for his actions, before he can accept forgiveness from God or from his wife.
*Format taken from Shared Wisdom: a Guide to Case Study Reflection in Ministry, Mahan, Troxell, and Allen, 1993.
Session 10-Soul care
Question 1. Why am I interested in spiritual direction?
As I seek an honest response to this question, I must first admit that I wasn’t knowingly interested in spiritual direction. This class is a requirement for graduation. Now, I must admit that I expected to receive something of value from the class. To explain my acquired interest in spiritual direction, I must refer to the experience as serendipitous. I have received something more valuable than I could ever have expected. Let me explain. I can remember sitting in church listening to the testimonies of those who had experienced a crisis and how God delivered them. At the same time, I felt that because I wasn’t in a crisis that there was incompleteness about my life. I felt that something was missing on my Christian journey. I was in need of healing but had no identifiable wound. I had a desire to know more but did not know what questions to ask. There was an emptiness from within that I could not explain. I was going through what I refer to as spiritual motions but void of the spiritual understanding. I was on a quest. Through this spiritual direction class, where my interest was pique, I began to understand about wholeness of the spirit. Through spiritual direction, my life experiences took on another dimension. I no longer just focused on the mental and the physical side of life but on how my spirit impacted the entire experience. It is a synergistic means whereby my wholeness is greater than the sum of my parts and the spirit is at the center. Even more valuable to my interest in spiritual direction is the sharing or mentoring of others, who like myself, desire more. My spiritual direction journey began as a class requirement. It soon became a life requirement—more valuable than gold. I am interested in spiritual direction because, as Jones states in his book, “The Art of Spiritual Direction” I want to learn how to discern what God is doing in, to, and with my life (2002, 5). Because as I learned in spiritual formation, it is not just about me but also for the good of others; therefore, as I learn to discern, that discernment becomes a tool to help others along the lines of spiritual direction.
Question 2. Reflection on Pastor Mark’s Case.
Case Assessment: For a child of God who has taken an involuntary detour, prayer will precede Mark’s. As a counselor, establishing a rapport that creates a friendly environment becomes my immediate goal. Attentive listening as Mark is encouraged to tell his story becomes imperative. Because Mark is a pastor, with permission, perhaps a prayer for healing will be in order. A focus on non-verbal will help with the overall assessment. As I gather Mark’s history, I will ask questions relevant to depression. After just completing a class in crisis and trauma, I know that depression can affect all parts of the body (impotence) and depending on the level of depression, suicide must be addressed. Change is also a culprit that contributes to depression. Family issues, infidelity, unhappy spouse, children leaving home and change in church size are also contributors to depression. After gathering all of his history, my focus will turn towards dealing with depression or referring to a psychiatrist if symptoms indicate. In family systems, I know that what Mark is experiencing didn’t just happen overnight, therefore, I would want to explore family history. There would also be a need to understand why certain changes took place and what led to his infidelity and most importantly, why did he decide to end it? In the first session, I may only be able to gather information and perhaps assign homework if Mark is willing. The homework would be that of a genogram to get a picture of his family relationship, or to write a lament. My goal would be to get Mark to express openly what he is feeling inside.
Conceptualization of the case:
Mark is no different from many who have unhealed wounds. Until he acknowledges these wounds, healing cannot take place. From experience, I carried anger due to the death of my father and this anger impacted my day-to-day functioning. Only, after I properly grieved did I achieve healing. Because Mark is a pastor, the caring for the souls of others has caused him to neglect his own. In my Pastoral Care class, it was made clear that pastors need care just as parishioners do. Also, because pastors find themselves in the company of the opposite sex, they must be careful to avoid being alone with anyone for any unexplained time. A sense of failure in light of all of his achievement makes it difficult for Mark to be whole because he failed in some key areas—God and the family. Mark needs to be restored to God as he seeks to restore his family relationship. I can imagine that praying or reading the Scripture is difficult for him at this time. Mark was tempted by the devil and unlike Job, he yield to that temptation. An understanding of how Mark feels about his relationship with God will be of great importance to his healing.
Treatment of the Case:
As we progress in this case, Mark will take the lead in providing clues for areas of healing. Because all of the issues cannot be dealt with at once, I will look at the family history (genogram) or listen to Mark’s lament to gain clues as to how to proceed. Mark’s level of cooperation will help me discern the direction to take. Regardless of how Mark’s sense of failure has impacted others, healing must start with Mark’s understanding of who he is in his own sight and in the eyes of God. Helping Mark to establish a support base is very important to his healing. Because Mark’s actions have negatively impacted the family, later, it might be beneficial, with Mark’s permission, to have his wife come to the session. There is a book by David Benner, “The Gift Of Being Yourself” where the author quotes John Calvin “There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God” (2004, 20). Perhaps, helping Mark come to know who he truly is will open his eyes to who God is. This becomes the major objective of my treatment. Prayer for healing is mandatory before, during and after each session. Mark will be given appropriate homework.
Spiritual Growth Planner
The spiritual discipline that I experienced during this course, which had the highest connection to my current situation, and personal spiritual passion is “practicing the presence—to develop a continual openness and awareness of Christ’s presence in me.”
This disciplined impacted my life in a big way. I found that in practicing this discipline, the strength to journey through each day regardless of pain, situations or circumstances, became easier. I found that I felt closeness with God that I had not experienced before. Just think, we read through the pages of the Bible, looking for Christ but he is in our presence, all we have to do is acknowledge him to be blessed by him (John 5:39-40). I shared this with my spiritual direction’s group and it was a startling revelation.
As I seek an honest response to this question, I must first admit that I wasn’t knowingly interested in spiritual direction. This class is a requirement for graduation. Now, I must admit that I expected to receive something of value from the class. To explain my acquired interest in spiritual direction, I must refer to the experience as serendipitous. I have received something more valuable than I could ever have expected. Let me explain. I can remember sitting in church listening to the testimonies of those who had experienced a crisis and how God delivered them. At the same time, I felt that because I wasn’t in a crisis that there was incompleteness about my life. I felt that something was missing on my Christian journey. I was in need of healing but had no identifiable wound. I had a desire to know more but did not know what questions to ask. There was an emptiness from within that I could not explain. I was going through what I refer to as spiritual motions but void of the spiritual understanding. I was on a quest. Through this spiritual direction class, where my interest was pique, I began to understand about wholeness of the spirit. Through spiritual direction, my life experiences took on another dimension. I no longer just focused on the mental and the physical side of life but on how my spirit impacted the entire experience. It is a synergistic means whereby my wholeness is greater than the sum of my parts and the spirit is at the center. Even more valuable to my interest in spiritual direction is the sharing or mentoring of others, who like myself, desire more. My spiritual direction journey began as a class requirement. It soon became a life requirement—more valuable than gold. I am interested in spiritual direction because, as Jones states in his book, “The Art of Spiritual Direction” I want to learn how to discern what God is doing in, to, and with my life (2002, 5). Because as I learned in spiritual formation, it is not just about me but also for the good of others; therefore, as I learn to discern, that discernment becomes a tool to help others along the lines of spiritual direction.
Question 2. Reflection on Pastor Mark’s Case.
Case Assessment: For a child of God who has taken an involuntary detour, prayer will precede Mark’s. As a counselor, establishing a rapport that creates a friendly environment becomes my immediate goal. Attentive listening as Mark is encouraged to tell his story becomes imperative. Because Mark is a pastor, with permission, perhaps a prayer for healing will be in order. A focus on non-verbal will help with the overall assessment. As I gather Mark’s history, I will ask questions relevant to depression. After just completing a class in crisis and trauma, I know that depression can affect all parts of the body (impotence) and depending on the level of depression, suicide must be addressed. Change is also a culprit that contributes to depression. Family issues, infidelity, unhappy spouse, children leaving home and change in church size are also contributors to depression. After gathering all of his history, my focus will turn towards dealing with depression or referring to a psychiatrist if symptoms indicate. In family systems, I know that what Mark is experiencing didn’t just happen overnight, therefore, I would want to explore family history. There would also be a need to understand why certain changes took place and what led to his infidelity and most importantly, why did he decide to end it? In the first session, I may only be able to gather information and perhaps assign homework if Mark is willing. The homework would be that of a genogram to get a picture of his family relationship, or to write a lament. My goal would be to get Mark to express openly what he is feeling inside.
Conceptualization of the case:
Mark is no different from many who have unhealed wounds. Until he acknowledges these wounds, healing cannot take place. From experience, I carried anger due to the death of my father and this anger impacted my day-to-day functioning. Only, after I properly grieved did I achieve healing. Because Mark is a pastor, the caring for the souls of others has caused him to neglect his own. In my Pastoral Care class, it was made clear that pastors need care just as parishioners do. Also, because pastors find themselves in the company of the opposite sex, they must be careful to avoid being alone with anyone for any unexplained time. A sense of failure in light of all of his achievement makes it difficult for Mark to be whole because he failed in some key areas—God and the family. Mark needs to be restored to God as he seeks to restore his family relationship. I can imagine that praying or reading the Scripture is difficult for him at this time. Mark was tempted by the devil and unlike Job, he yield to that temptation. An understanding of how Mark feels about his relationship with God will be of great importance to his healing.
Treatment of the Case:
As we progress in this case, Mark will take the lead in providing clues for areas of healing. Because all of the issues cannot be dealt with at once, I will look at the family history (genogram) or listen to Mark’s lament to gain clues as to how to proceed. Mark’s level of cooperation will help me discern the direction to take. Regardless of how Mark’s sense of failure has impacted others, healing must start with Mark’s understanding of who he is in his own sight and in the eyes of God. Helping Mark to establish a support base is very important to his healing. Because Mark’s actions have negatively impacted the family, later, it might be beneficial, with Mark’s permission, to have his wife come to the session. There is a book by David Benner, “The Gift Of Being Yourself” where the author quotes John Calvin “There is no deep knowing of God without a deep knowing of self and no deep knowing of self without a deep knowing of God” (2004, 20). Perhaps, helping Mark come to know who he truly is will open his eyes to who God is. This becomes the major objective of my treatment. Prayer for healing is mandatory before, during and after each session. Mark will be given appropriate homework.
Spiritual Growth Planner
The spiritual discipline that I experienced during this course, which had the highest connection to my current situation, and personal spiritual passion is “practicing the presence—to develop a continual openness and awareness of Christ’s presence in me.”
This disciplined impacted my life in a big way. I found that in practicing this discipline, the strength to journey through each day regardless of pain, situations or circumstances, became easier. I found that I felt closeness with God that I had not experienced before. Just think, we read through the pages of the Bible, looking for Christ but he is in our presence, all we have to do is acknowledge him to be blessed by him (John 5:39-40). I shared this with my spiritual direction’s group and it was a startling revelation.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
seesion 10 in part
Session #10, "Soul Care", (Benner & Moon text, pp. 187-249) 1) Spiritual Questors: Galindo cites Tilden Edwards' two reasons for an increased interest and emphasis upon spiritual direction in contemporary American culture: a. Personal spiritual formation as a way of life with limited interpretation and accountability, and b. Acknowledgement of the limitations of psychology to address issues of wholeness in our lives.
Why are you interested in spiritual direction?
I am interested in spiritual direction because I have already studies psychology and I wanted to integrate my faith into my counseling and practice of therapy.
I read Moon’s chapter whereby he outlines the way pastoral counseling and spiritual direction are alike: both practices are crisis centered, both deal with the person holistically, both give practical attention to a person’s history, both practices teach, both practices work with a person’s motivation, both help people make decisions, both have helping goals and both are centered in love for the person. The differences lie then in the training- too much psychology or too much theology. “Both tend to fall to easily into the false assumption that to understand something is the answer.” (Moor and Benner pg 211). As a Mennonite, many times I had heard the phrase, be “present” with people who are hurting. This is a way not to help solve a crisis, or come to understand the why’s and how’s of life but just to walk with people who are hurting and to walk with people who are searching. This to me is part of Spiritual direction. “People are too complex, the soul is too deep, the spirit is too transcendent and emotions are too inexplicable to naively assume that we can understand them…Faith is, at heart, the central relationship that gives meaning to our life; we are able to interpret our experiences in light of that relationship.” (211)
The the discussion of the differences between these two are outlined: The helping relationship in direction goes beyond crisis, the temporal focus in spiritual direction is broader, attention to operation of grace is central to spiritual direction. It requires a shared confessional stance (this one I will go back to in my personal discussion), Faith in God is central in the spiritual direction process. In our crisis class, we had a counselor come and speak on various mental health issues. I asked her a question about when she is unable to help someone, what does she do? I was looking to see what were her bases of helping and healing? She gave a good- typical mental health answer, (talking with a supervisor, letting go and relaxing- or taking a hot bath, or something like that), but her answer was not satisfactory. I really was trying to get at was –What was her hope, or in what was her hope? In Spiritual counseling, God is central and faith is very important. God’s grace is the hope that keeps on going, as well as community etc. Faith in God is central is spiritual direction. After not being satisfied with the Mental Health worker’s answer, I decided for myself, that I could not just work as a counselor in a non-faith based setting. I needed to share my faith with other like minded – and it seems spiritual direction might be the mode or process in which to do that. . Issues of surrender and conversion are overt in spiritual direction- to give control over to God, willingly and completely. Healing is redefined- not as cure but as finding meaning and wholeness. There is a place for community in spiritual direction. This goes so well with my focus on “being part of the body of Christ, when one hurts we all hurt, and one is joyful , we can all celebrate together”. Spiritual direction deals with healthy individuals while pastoral counseling deal more with deep emotional and psychiatric problems and finally Spiritual directions requires maturity. This I believe is where wisdom, rather than knowledge and skills come in. It is God who gives wisdom to all who seek it. Maturity incorporates life experience with God’s word, and revelation so that in sharing one can help another grow in spiritual maturity and in faith in God. I believe – if God calls me into this ministry- I can care for people’s souls as a spiritual director.
2) Case Reflection: Reflect on the Pastor Mark Case, this type of case reflection can provide some insights into what a Senior Capstone Case Reflection could be for MAFM students. Briefly describe your Case Reflection of the Pastor Mark Case utilizing the format utilized in the Benner & Moon text: a. Case Assessment, b. Conceptualization of the Case, and c. Treatment of the Case. You may integrate insights from other sources such as: a. Other WTS courses, b. Other training, c. Your life and ministry experience, and d. Personal insight.
Will do laterCalhoun, Part 8, Spiritual Growth Planner,
(Calhoun, pp. 256-263)Select the spiritual discipline that you experienced during this course which had the highest connection to your current situation and personal spiritual passion. Describe how this spiritual discipline impacted your life and ministry.
The various practices of spiritual disciplines have been very helpful for me. I have practiced writing in a journal before and continue to find this very helpful. Reading the bible slowly with intent like the practice of Lectio Divina was shared and taught to my K- group and continues to be very helpful, but for me personally the one discipline that I continue to practice is setting time and space for God in daily life. Using the chime on the clock, that rings every hour and consciously reminding myself that God is present has been most rewarding, at times I use the ring of hour many bell for the hour to count my blessing and Thank God for 1,2,3, etc. my three boys, 7-9 the various machines that continue to work in my home washer, dryer, heat, freezer full of food, refrigerator, fire place and wood in garage to heal our home, etc. I even tried to practice this at school, when the class bell rings- Maybe that is why the monks had bells in their churches, to remind them of God’s presence every hour of the day- no matter how busy life can get, “welcomed or not- God is always present” is a quote on my computer at work. The bells have been a great reminded or the Presence of God in everyday activity.
Why are you interested in spiritual direction?
I am interested in spiritual direction because I have already studies psychology and I wanted to integrate my faith into my counseling and practice of therapy.
I read Moon’s chapter whereby he outlines the way pastoral counseling and spiritual direction are alike: both practices are crisis centered, both deal with the person holistically, both give practical attention to a person’s history, both practices teach, both practices work with a person’s motivation, both help people make decisions, both have helping goals and both are centered in love for the person. The differences lie then in the training- too much psychology or too much theology. “Both tend to fall to easily into the false assumption that to understand something is the answer.” (Moor and Benner pg 211). As a Mennonite, many times I had heard the phrase, be “present” with people who are hurting. This is a way not to help solve a crisis, or come to understand the why’s and how’s of life but just to walk with people who are hurting and to walk with people who are searching. This to me is part of Spiritual direction. “People are too complex, the soul is too deep, the spirit is too transcendent and emotions are too inexplicable to naively assume that we can understand them…Faith is, at heart, the central relationship that gives meaning to our life; we are able to interpret our experiences in light of that relationship.” (211)
The the discussion of the differences between these two are outlined: The helping relationship in direction goes beyond crisis, the temporal focus in spiritual direction is broader, attention to operation of grace is central to spiritual direction. It requires a shared confessional stance (this one I will go back to in my personal discussion), Faith in God is central in the spiritual direction process. In our crisis class, we had a counselor come and speak on various mental health issues. I asked her a question about when she is unable to help someone, what does she do? I was looking to see what were her bases of helping and healing? She gave a good- typical mental health answer, (talking with a supervisor, letting go and relaxing- or taking a hot bath, or something like that), but her answer was not satisfactory. I really was trying to get at was –What was her hope, or in what was her hope? In Spiritual counseling, God is central and faith is very important. God’s grace is the hope that keeps on going, as well as community etc. Faith in God is central is spiritual direction. After not being satisfied with the Mental Health worker’s answer, I decided for myself, that I could not just work as a counselor in a non-faith based setting. I needed to share my faith with other like minded – and it seems spiritual direction might be the mode or process in which to do that. . Issues of surrender and conversion are overt in spiritual direction- to give control over to God, willingly and completely. Healing is redefined- not as cure but as finding meaning and wholeness. There is a place for community in spiritual direction. This goes so well with my focus on “being part of the body of Christ, when one hurts we all hurt, and one is joyful , we can all celebrate together”. Spiritual direction deals with healthy individuals while pastoral counseling deal more with deep emotional and psychiatric problems and finally Spiritual directions requires maturity. This I believe is where wisdom, rather than knowledge and skills come in. It is God who gives wisdom to all who seek it. Maturity incorporates life experience with God’s word, and revelation so that in sharing one can help another grow in spiritual maturity and in faith in God. I believe – if God calls me into this ministry- I can care for people’s souls as a spiritual director.
2) Case Reflection: Reflect on the Pastor Mark Case, this type of case reflection can provide some insights into what a Senior Capstone Case Reflection could be for MAFM students. Briefly describe your Case Reflection of the Pastor Mark Case utilizing the format utilized in the Benner & Moon text: a. Case Assessment, b. Conceptualization of the Case, and c. Treatment of the Case. You may integrate insights from other sources such as: a. Other WTS courses, b. Other training, c. Your life and ministry experience, and d. Personal insight.
Will do laterCalhoun, Part 8, Spiritual Growth Planner,
(Calhoun, pp. 256-263)Select the spiritual discipline that you experienced during this course which had the highest connection to your current situation and personal spiritual passion. Describe how this spiritual discipline impacted your life and ministry.
The various practices of spiritual disciplines have been very helpful for me. I have practiced writing in a journal before and continue to find this very helpful. Reading the bible slowly with intent like the practice of Lectio Divina was shared and taught to my K- group and continues to be very helpful, but for me personally the one discipline that I continue to practice is setting time and space for God in daily life. Using the chime on the clock, that rings every hour and consciously reminding myself that God is present has been most rewarding, at times I use the ring of hour many bell for the hour to count my blessing and Thank God for 1,2,3, etc. my three boys, 7-9 the various machines that continue to work in my home washer, dryer, heat, freezer full of food, refrigerator, fire place and wood in garage to heal our home, etc. I even tried to practice this at school, when the class bell rings- Maybe that is why the monks had bells in their churches, to remind them of God’s presence every hour of the day- no matter how busy life can get, “welcomed or not- God is always present” is a quote on my computer at work. The bells have been a great reminded or the Presence of God in everyday activity.
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