Building a Spiritual Direction Framework

Chapter 1.
It is difficult to describe a role, substance and the place of something that you don’t know exist. Until I enrolled in seminary, spiritual direction, merely meant, “letting the Holy Spirit lead you” often echoed by the pastor. There were no instructions to show you how to let it lead you or even to recognize its leadership capability. Perhaps it is a cultural thing, nevertheless, letting the Holy Spirit “lead us” is a common phrase that is shared with the members whether from the pulpit or through Bible study. The importance of listening to the Holy Spirit is conveyed through the songs, prayers and sermons that take place in worship. In saying this then the role of spiritual direction is one which directs us closer to God and his will for our lives. This direction is achieved through corporate worship that may have individual results. The place of the Holy Spirit had to do with inviting its presence into everything that took place in church and every day activities. Individuals, who expressed a desire to grow in their relationship with God, are encouraged through recommended classes, readings, and mentoring. The rest of the congregation has Bible Study, Sunday school and the Sunday morning sermon as it spiritual yardstick. Being one who exhibited a special calling on her life, spiritual direction has taken on the role of enabler of my spiritual growth and development. This role consists of accountability to a spiritual director and studying of God’s word through reading the Bible, education, meditation, listening and prayer. Because of its importance, its place in my life is one that is as a permanent resident. Rev. Dr. Langston Bannister, my former pastor and current friend nurtures this holy conversation in my life. Under his pastorate, many benefited from his leadership as a man of God, a disciple and a spiritual director. Through his efforts I spent a year studying spiritual direction taught by the Dominican Sisters. Through his efforts, I am enrolled in seminary. He walks my journey with me and I see him as an excellent model and mentor. If spiritual direction is a form of “rebirth” then he helped with my delivery.

Chapter 2

Six components of my Theological World, which is best described in World 1, are explained as follows…

Feeling; Longing- just as the text indicated, I remember feeling a desire to know “more’ and a sense of being unfulfilled in all of my many accomplishments. I had made an earned a good living. I had written books. I had stayed in hotel with top ratings. I had raised pretty good children and yet, I desired more from my life.
Obsessio: Separation as being abandoned- Things that once seemed important or defined success for my life became transparent. They lost their importance to a desire to be immersed in the things of God-using my gifts and talents for him. I question always: Am I doing what God wants me to do.
3. State: Alien- Sometimes on my journey, I feel like an alien-being in the world but not of the world. My family sees a change in me and they do not quite understand it. I don’t always understand it, either.
4. Atonement: Love- I believe love can penetrate the walls of any situation. We are commanded to love unconditionally. Although, not always easy, love is necessary. Love is atonement for our sins.
5. Christology: Revealer- I believe that God will make everything clear in his own way. I sometimes become impatient with curiosity. I believe he reveals to us as he sees or feel a need. We sing a song, “We’ll Understand It Better By and By.” I believe this.
6. Epiphania: Reunion- I believe that through nature we are reunited with God daily. Of course one day we well be reunited in the heavenly garden but I see essence of that garden each day. As I embrace this belief it helps in ushering the
presence of God in my life.

Chapter 3

I experienced discipleship in the context of a Southern Baptist Church. This experience was limited to answering the question, “Do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?” I answered “yes.” Then the deacons made a statement that said after baptism I would have all the rights and privileges of any member of the church. A date was set for baptism and afterwards I was a member of the church. Discipleship came in the form of Sunday school and Sunday worship. The church presented the model of God for day-to-day living. This was reinforced by the family. This spiritual direction process meant for me that I should be in church on Sunday and be a good person. These teaching followed me to Third Baptist church as an adult where Pastor Bannister helped with my spiritual development by allowing me to bring the Sunday morning message, encouraging my reading of the Bible, encouraging me to attend seminary and enrolling me in a spiritual direction class. He took an active role along my journey. All he did helped to strengthen my walk. The weakness was in when I joined church but did not understand what that meant. I was blind but now I see.

Question 4

Reading about the desert father’s technique, I found it was easier to read than to do. I remember the first time that I was introduced to the practice of lectio divina. My mind was filled with all kinds of thought and I wondered if Sister Nancy would think I was not serious. I just could not clear my mind and had to admit to her my difficulty at the end of the process. I struggled. She said, the more you practice the better it will be. She must have used the desert father’s technique because she told me to quickly replace the thought with one that focused on God. Before the end of this year long class, I had begun to know how to clear my mind. I learned it is not easy. Whenever I attempt the process of lectio divina, I plan it for a time when distractions should be limited Dr. Sandstrom recently had us practice this in class and I had no difficulty.

Question 5
Getting lost in silence is a spiritual mode that I feel called to practice. Silence is something I struggle with often. It seems that whenever I am called to meditate or focus in silence, some distraction challenges me. For three evenings, I attempted this spiritual mode and only on Sunday evening was I able to complete it. I needed to be emptied of all the things that had caused negativity to enter in. I just wanted to be. In my office, as the rest of the house slept, I found my centering in silence. Isaiah 43:1-2 was a Scripture that Dr. Sandstrom used in class and it had relevance to my need to just be, so I read it. The words, “you are mine” helped with my efforts to center on God. Afterwards, I was able to go to bed and get a good night’s sleep.

Chapter 6

“Living in the past brings guilt and hurt; living in the future is the root of anxiety and fear; the present is deeply sufficient” is an aphorism that connects with my journey. I can often be heard saying, I live one day at a time. I remember when I used to be bound by the past and this often made me feel inadequate for God’s work. I anxiously looked toward the future as a means of escape and becoming worthy and I feared failure. I read a book called the “Precious Present” given to me by my spiritual advisor and I began to focus on one day at a time. The only day that I can live in is the present. The past is gone and tomorrow isn’t promised.

Chapter 7
I envision a model of spiritual direction that releases renewal in my church as one which focuses on the need for connectivity of all members. I believe that the strength for spiritual growth and direction comes as we see commonality in serving God. When I think of the attention that I received and how that impacted my life, I wish it for others. When I came to Ohio and joined my current church, I remember being assigned to an alphabetical group-R. This group met once a month on Sunday afternoon. In it I came to know members of the church that otherwise would have taken longer. Periodically, our group would fellowship with another alphabetical group. In these groups we shared our life experiences and our understanding of what it meant to be a Christian. The main focus was on fellowship in Jesus. As members became involved in their groups it seemed to spill over to their involvement in worship. Desires and questions about Christ surfaced and were answered with the help of the pastor. In this group a selected Scripture was chosen and discussion centered on this Scripture. As we ate snacks that the host/facilitator provided in this informal, yet spiritual gathering, I came to feel connected not only to my church but to God. This model reflects a biblical pattern because it embodies community and its connectivity to Christ-discipleship. This foundational model reflects a biblical pattern because the group attendance was not mandatory, it was voluntary. To follow Christ is voluntary.

Discernment
Discernment as a crucial component in my spiritual direction skill set reminds me that as I seek to facilitate or demonstrate what a relationship with God is all about, I must become in tuned with Christ in order to use the radar of discernment on myself and others. To be able to discern and recognize it as other than just your opinion is difficult. As the text indicated, truth is a guide. I experienced this recently in a Sunday school class when the question was asked, “Have you ever felt that God was not listening to your prayers and did this make you angry?” I knew my answer was “yes.” But as I waited for others to say “yes,” by show of hands the answer was “no.” The prompting of the Holy Spirit within me presented this as a “teachable moment.” I volunteered to share why I answered, yes. Upon completion of my explanation, everyone changed their answer to yes. “It was such a liberating experience,” exclaimed one woman. If I must use my imagination, I would encourage members of my church to nurture their spiritual discernment by 1) Understanding that all truth ends and begins with God. He knows our thoughts.2) Studying his Word to strengthen their ability to be in touch with this gift 3) Praying, listening and then speaking if directed. 4) Accepting the fact that no answer or response is okay. And 5) Remembering that the gift of discernment is just that, a gift. Above all, I would highlight the importance of practicing the art of listening for his voice, whether through retreats, meditation, Scripture or prayer in order to recognize it in times of need. Although these are just basic insights, I have found that this helps me as I seek his will in my day-to-day living. What I have discovered is that some who call themselves Christians and have leadership positions in the church think that they have the answers for others lives automatically. Discernment is not automatic. It is God given.