Sessions 4 & 5 -- Chapters 1 & 2

Chapter 1:
In terms of church-based spiritual direction, I can very much say that I've lacked any formal spiritual direction overall (perhaps a contributor to burn-out?). My spiritual formation at the church has primarily taken place in various semi-impromptu prayer gatherings. To be more specific, several church leaders realized four years ago that there was little spiritual formation occurring at the church and began a campaign to accomplish those types of ends. As a result, those impromptu prayer meetings began, and a number of other initiatives have also begun. I have engaged several people I work closely with on ministry teams in spiritual direction, but only if they were specifically requesting it. I also know that a handful of church members also rely on the pastor and/or Sunday school teachers for direction when needed as well. Unfortunately, I think most of us (sadly, including myself), have been inclined to be more advice-giving than engaging in active listening to the Holy Spirit on behalf of the person requesting direction.

In my personal life outside the church, I actively seek spiritual direction from other Christians whom I know will be honest with me and whom I also believe are in tune with God in their own spiritual lives. My usual pursuit of this direction is meeting over coffee or a phone call. Two people who come to mind is the intentional relationship for direction I've set up with my MACD mentor; the second, interestingly enough. is my mother because she is very honest, listens well, and often keeps her personal agenda to herself; finally, another is a close friend in which we both seek spiritual direction from one another and often organically vacillate between the roles of director/directee.

Chapter 2: Explain the 6 components of your Theological World.
(I'm assuming that the six components is in reference to the six columnar headings in the graph Jones gives on pp. 59-60.) After reading the chapter on Theological Worlds, I wasn't very certain as to which world I fit into , and then after taking Jones' assessment in Appendix B, I found myself in World 3 -- although I'm still not certain it is an exact fit (but a basic assessment rarely will find a tight fit, especially with only five broad categorical "worlds").

Jones uses the word "Ache" to describe the inner feeling of World 3. This is perhaps an accurate and honest assessment of core feeling I know well. After reading a text by Benner in a previous course (the title I can't remember), I recall through exploration of Enneagram types that I had a longing need to be competent and capable of, well, everything. This ache is the resulting feeling of being wanted and needed.

The obsessio for this World is "Emptiness as being self-estranged". I also concur there is accuracy in this assessment as well. Part of my deeper ache is related to my inability to socialize well as a child. I've always had a sense of self-estrangement, and have only on few occasions felt fully included and accepted by others. The resulting notion is emptiness, but also, what Jones does not indicate, loneliness as well. I often obsess, without realizing it, over finding a way to "fit in" or be liked. And for those whom I do experience full acceptance, I tend to spend copious amounts of time with them because I find some sense of fulfillment in that relationship.

--to be continued...