1) Spiritual Questors - Why are you interested in spiritual direction?
I am interested in Spiritual Direction because I have a longing within my spirit to live out my life according to God’s Will for me through direction by the Holy Spirit. Spiritual Direction has provided me with the opportunity to look deep within myself and ask the essential questions that have knocked at the door of my understanding for years: “Why Am I Here?” “What is my Purpose?” “Where does God want me to go?” “What does God want me to do?” “How do I develop a deeper relationship with God and his creation?” All of these questions and many others have caused me to understand that receiving direction from the Holy Spirit through Spiritual Direction is essential to building, sustaining and growing my relationship with God and completing the works and ministries that he has blessed me to participate in within the Kingdom of God.
I believe that Individual and Group Spiritual Direction are essential to Disciples growth in their relationship with God and provides a means for healing, inner contemplation, prayer, meditation, direction and instruction to be provided in the inner most parts of an individual’s spirit to carry out the instructions and direction provided by the Holy Spirit. I want to know God, the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit at the most intimate level and in the deepest manner that I possibly can, and I also want to provide others with help and assistance through listening to the Holy Spirit with them in providing them with direction and focus on what God is speaking to them through the Holy Spirit.
2) Pastor Mark Case Reflection
Case Assessment
Using Spiritual Direction, one of the first issues that I would assess with Mark is whether or not Spiritual Direction is something that he is looking to participate in with me through prayer and direction by the Holy Spirit. He is in a state of mind and spirit right now where he might feel more guilt and shame based upon the affair, negative feelings toward moving, torn relationship with his wife, and other issues that may require a referral to a psychologist, therapist, or pastor. However, Mark is at a point right now where his relationship with God would be strengthened and explored at a much deeper level if he is ready to go on the Journey of one-on-one Spiritual Direction. We would open our sessions in prayer, meditate on Scripture, and then go where the Holy Spirit directs as Mark opens and shares according to the growing trust that I pray will develop throughout this process.
Another assessment that would need to be made during the initial discussions in Spiritual Direction would be to discuss his relationship with God. Why did he feel he was called? Have there been any other times where he has felt that he was not called to be a Pastor? Are there any other Spiritual Leaders that he has conversations with regarding any issues in the past? What is his prayer life like? What is his relationship with his wife, daughters, former church, current church, local council of churches? I would also like to discuss as the Holy Spirit directs the toll that being a Pastor has taken on his life in comparison to his family? Does he do any retreats? What are his Spiritual Disciplines? Does he take vacations?
Another assessment that I pray would be a part that the Holy Spirit would allow Mark to discuss would be his relationship with his parents and any prior relationships he had prior to getting married? What were the dynamics in his home like, which may shed some light on his current choices regarding infidelity through the affair, and doubt in his calling as a Pastor. I believe that the Holy Spirit is meeting Mark right now at the point of one of the lowest times in his life, but that I would be blessed to walk along side in Spiritual Direction to help him hear more clearly the voice of the Holy Spirit. I would also inquire of Mark whether or not he has participated in Spiritual Direction before or any kind of regular intercessory prayer, along with whether or not he has had Spiritual Counseling sessions with any of his parishioners in the past to get a feel for whether or not he has participated in this form or a similar form of Spiritual Direction.
Conceptualization of Case:
My conceptualization of the case is going to be based upon Mark’s relationship with God, both past and present, and the effects of this relationship upon his calling, relationship with this wife, daughters, prior church, current church, leadership in council of churches, finances, and relationship with the woman that he had an affair with.
One of the major issues that I believe needs to be dealt with is Mark’s lack of confidence in his calling as a Pastor. I would prayerfully listen to Mark describe his initial calling by God and then encounter as to where he has felt doubt or uncertainty regarding his calling and his role as a Pastor. Have there been other incidents in his Pastorate where he has felt the same? Who has he shared these doubts with? Wife? Pastors? Members of the Church? Woman he had an affair with? From this point I hope that there would be some more basic understanding of Mark in his relationship and role as Pastor with others that would be disclosed.
Another major issue that I would like to address through the Holy Spirit’s direction is Mark’s feelings regarding change. Is he someone that is adverse to change or embraces it? How does he handle change that he implements or is implemented by others? Is he a “pleaser” or “stand firm alone?” Mark is going through a lot of changes after a long period of stability, and this might help to understand his level of confidence and insecurity in his position as Pastor, as well as, shed some light regarding his relationships with his wife, daughters, prior church family, current church family and leadership of council of churches.
Another issue that I would like to address is to get a deeper understanding of Mark’s relationship with his wife, daughters, prior congregation, current congregation, other Pastors, and the woman that he had an affair with. I would hope that the Holy Spirit would open Mark up to discuss these relationships because they will provide a better understanding relating to his decision making process and feelings regarding each of these relationships. Having a better understanding of the relationship between Mark and his wife may shed light upon why he had an affair and why he has some of the feelings that he has regarding leaving the Pastorate, it may also shed light on his relationship with his daughters and him possibly feeling abandoned and alone with them leaving for college and the one getting married also. This may shed light on him looking for security in the arms of another woman or seeking a feeling that he felt was absent at home. My hope in looking deeper into the relationship with the congregations that he has pastored is to get a better understanding of his leadership, issues within each congregation, securities and insecurities, aspirations and failures to allow the Holy Spirit to shed additional light on his calling and his feeling of doubt and inadequacy regarding his Pastoral Leadership. This may also lead to conversation regarding the woman that he had an affair with and provide an opening for repentance and healing regarding that relationship, along with confession to his wife regarding the affair (which should also be coupled with marriage counseling for both in the future.)
Treatment of Case:
In the treatment of this case, I would look to meet with Mark once every 2 or 3 weeks to get us on a regular pattern of meeting and to allow what the Holy Spirit has provided in each session to sink in and operate within Mark’s life and my own as Spiritual Director to provide for deeper reflection over time. I would look to use or incorporate silent meditation, prayer and journaling as a Spiritual Disciplines throughout the sessions so that Mark can use the journals to reflect upon the Holy Spirit’s direction during the sessions, as well as, his experiences, feelings and decisions that have lead him to this point. We would take the issues and factors presented in a steady pace not seeking to cover too much too fast and seeking to allow the Holy Spirit to take us deeper into those areas that Mark seeks to discuss. I would seek to discuss different aspects of his relationship with God that might tie into his relationship with others, which would provide further insight into his impotency, doubt, insecurity, adultery and other issues that have arisen.
Another treatment aspect that I think would be important at the correct time is to discuss the issues in his marriage separately from the other issues to give it appropriate importance and focus to allow the Holy Spirit to take us deep within this issue that I believe is causing Mark much pain and regret due to his adultery and its effect on his family and Pastoral leadership. This experience I pray would lead to marriage counseling and Mark revealing to his wife his affair, and true repentance and asking of forgiveness to both his wife, daughters, the woman he had the affair with, and possibly his prior congregation.
Another aspect of the treatment that I believe should be implemented is to seek the possibility of whether or not Mark would be comfortable with Group Spiritual Direction in the future with other Pastors to allow him the opportunity to talk with other Spiritual Leaders, have some accountability in leadership, and have a support group in his new situation with the new church.
I believe that Mark is at a great cross roads in his spiritual journey and that one key element will be for Mark to forgive himself and rest in the love that God has for us, while still acknowledging his improper and immoral acts but not condemning himself, but making true repentance and a turning away from those acts and negative spirits that have hindered him in the past. I also believe that the Holy Spirit having us focus on Mark’s relationship with his wife and Christ’s command for husbands to love their wives the way that Christ loves the church will help set some foundation for healing and understanding in one of his foundational relationships that he is clinging to, which will also allow his clinging to move from solely to his marriage but to God who has the ability to heal the entire situation for his glory.
Calhoun, Part 8, Spiritual Growth Planner - Personal Spiritual Discipline
The two Spiritual Disciplines that I experienced during this course that had the highest connection to my current situation and personal spiritual passion is memorization and journaling. As a part of this course, I prayed and decided to memorize Psalm 23. I was blessed to have memorized it in Hebrew; however, I had not memorized it in English. Throughout the time that I recited Psalm 23 in both Hebrew and English everyday I began to experience the Lord being my Shepherd and leading me into green pastures, but I also began to experience going through the Valley of the Shadow of Death and not being afraid because the Lord is with me. I also saw myself in situations, trials and tribulations where I felt the Lord preparing a table before me in the presence of mine enemies through many vicious rumors and lies that are being told about me regarding my ministry and allegiance to God, but it is through these experiences that I know that I must sit at this table that God has prepared in order to receive the anointing that God has for me and my cup that will overflow. I also have experienced through this time that I don’t have to worry about who has my back because Goodness and Mercy are following me ALL the days of my life, so the arrows and darts that are being thrown can’t penetrate the Armour of God, nor will they get past Goodness and Mercy that God has following me. Through the memorization of Psalm 23 I now identify with David’s feelings in talking to God through this Psalm and the issues that he was facing, but how God brought him through. I praise God for God bringing David through because in placing Psalm 23 in my heart through memorization I now benefit from David standing so that I can stand and honor God through being steadfast in the trials and tribulations that I am in and already have the victory over in Christ Jesus.
Journaling has also been an enormous Spiritual Discipline that has blessed me in my ministry that has impacted my life in a great way. The Lord placed on my heart to Journal for the 40 days after Resurrection Sunday up to Ascension Sunday, and the 10 days then leading up to Pentecost Sunday. Through this Journaling God is revealing so much to me regarding the ministries that he is birthing for the Kingdom of God, as well as, confirmation that I am doing what he has instructed me to do in Kingdom building. The Journaling has also been an outlet for my emotions and a vehicle through which the Holy Spirit is meeting me to record my feelings and his instructions to me in leading others through discipleship unto him.
I am interested in Spiritual Direction because I have a longing within my spirit to live out my life according to God’s Will for me through direction by the Holy Spirit. Spiritual Direction has provided me with the opportunity to look deep within myself and ask the essential questions that have knocked at the door of my understanding for years: “Why Am I Here?” “What is my Purpose?” “Where does God want me to go?” “What does God want me to do?” “How do I develop a deeper relationship with God and his creation?” All of these questions and many others have caused me to understand that receiving direction from the Holy Spirit through Spiritual Direction is essential to building, sustaining and growing my relationship with God and completing the works and ministries that he has blessed me to participate in within the Kingdom of God.
I believe that Individual and Group Spiritual Direction are essential to Disciples growth in their relationship with God and provides a means for healing, inner contemplation, prayer, meditation, direction and instruction to be provided in the inner most parts of an individual’s spirit to carry out the instructions and direction provided by the Holy Spirit. I want to know God, the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit at the most intimate level and in the deepest manner that I possibly can, and I also want to provide others with help and assistance through listening to the Holy Spirit with them in providing them with direction and focus on what God is speaking to them through the Holy Spirit.
2) Pastor Mark Case Reflection
Case Assessment
Using Spiritual Direction, one of the first issues that I would assess with Mark is whether or not Spiritual Direction is something that he is looking to participate in with me through prayer and direction by the Holy Spirit. He is in a state of mind and spirit right now where he might feel more guilt and shame based upon the affair, negative feelings toward moving, torn relationship with his wife, and other issues that may require a referral to a psychologist, therapist, or pastor. However, Mark is at a point right now where his relationship with God would be strengthened and explored at a much deeper level if he is ready to go on the Journey of one-on-one Spiritual Direction. We would open our sessions in prayer, meditate on Scripture, and then go where the Holy Spirit directs as Mark opens and shares according to the growing trust that I pray will develop throughout this process.
Another assessment that would need to be made during the initial discussions in Spiritual Direction would be to discuss his relationship with God. Why did he feel he was called? Have there been any other times where he has felt that he was not called to be a Pastor? Are there any other Spiritual Leaders that he has conversations with regarding any issues in the past? What is his prayer life like? What is his relationship with his wife, daughters, former church, current church, local council of churches? I would also like to discuss as the Holy Spirit directs the toll that being a Pastor has taken on his life in comparison to his family? Does he do any retreats? What are his Spiritual Disciplines? Does he take vacations?
Another assessment that I pray would be a part that the Holy Spirit would allow Mark to discuss would be his relationship with his parents and any prior relationships he had prior to getting married? What were the dynamics in his home like, which may shed some light on his current choices regarding infidelity through the affair, and doubt in his calling as a Pastor. I believe that the Holy Spirit is meeting Mark right now at the point of one of the lowest times in his life, but that I would be blessed to walk along side in Spiritual Direction to help him hear more clearly the voice of the Holy Spirit. I would also inquire of Mark whether or not he has participated in Spiritual Direction before or any kind of regular intercessory prayer, along with whether or not he has had Spiritual Counseling sessions with any of his parishioners in the past to get a feel for whether or not he has participated in this form or a similar form of Spiritual Direction.
Conceptualization of Case:
My conceptualization of the case is going to be based upon Mark’s relationship with God, both past and present, and the effects of this relationship upon his calling, relationship with this wife, daughters, prior church, current church, leadership in council of churches, finances, and relationship with the woman that he had an affair with.
One of the major issues that I believe needs to be dealt with is Mark’s lack of confidence in his calling as a Pastor. I would prayerfully listen to Mark describe his initial calling by God and then encounter as to where he has felt doubt or uncertainty regarding his calling and his role as a Pastor. Have there been other incidents in his Pastorate where he has felt the same? Who has he shared these doubts with? Wife? Pastors? Members of the Church? Woman he had an affair with? From this point I hope that there would be some more basic understanding of Mark in his relationship and role as Pastor with others that would be disclosed.
Another major issue that I would like to address through the Holy Spirit’s direction is Mark’s feelings regarding change. Is he someone that is adverse to change or embraces it? How does he handle change that he implements or is implemented by others? Is he a “pleaser” or “stand firm alone?” Mark is going through a lot of changes after a long period of stability, and this might help to understand his level of confidence and insecurity in his position as Pastor, as well as, shed some light regarding his relationships with his wife, daughters, prior church family, current church family and leadership of council of churches.
Another issue that I would like to address is to get a deeper understanding of Mark’s relationship with his wife, daughters, prior congregation, current congregation, other Pastors, and the woman that he had an affair with. I would hope that the Holy Spirit would open Mark up to discuss these relationships because they will provide a better understanding relating to his decision making process and feelings regarding each of these relationships. Having a better understanding of the relationship between Mark and his wife may shed light upon why he had an affair and why he has some of the feelings that he has regarding leaving the Pastorate, it may also shed light on his relationship with his daughters and him possibly feeling abandoned and alone with them leaving for college and the one getting married also. This may shed light on him looking for security in the arms of another woman or seeking a feeling that he felt was absent at home. My hope in looking deeper into the relationship with the congregations that he has pastored is to get a better understanding of his leadership, issues within each congregation, securities and insecurities, aspirations and failures to allow the Holy Spirit to shed additional light on his calling and his feeling of doubt and inadequacy regarding his Pastoral Leadership. This may also lead to conversation regarding the woman that he had an affair with and provide an opening for repentance and healing regarding that relationship, along with confession to his wife regarding the affair (which should also be coupled with marriage counseling for both in the future.)
Treatment of Case:
In the treatment of this case, I would look to meet with Mark once every 2 or 3 weeks to get us on a regular pattern of meeting and to allow what the Holy Spirit has provided in each session to sink in and operate within Mark’s life and my own as Spiritual Director to provide for deeper reflection over time. I would look to use or incorporate silent meditation, prayer and journaling as a Spiritual Disciplines throughout the sessions so that Mark can use the journals to reflect upon the Holy Spirit’s direction during the sessions, as well as, his experiences, feelings and decisions that have lead him to this point. We would take the issues and factors presented in a steady pace not seeking to cover too much too fast and seeking to allow the Holy Spirit to take us deeper into those areas that Mark seeks to discuss. I would seek to discuss different aspects of his relationship with God that might tie into his relationship with others, which would provide further insight into his impotency, doubt, insecurity, adultery and other issues that have arisen.
Another treatment aspect that I think would be important at the correct time is to discuss the issues in his marriage separately from the other issues to give it appropriate importance and focus to allow the Holy Spirit to take us deep within this issue that I believe is causing Mark much pain and regret due to his adultery and its effect on his family and Pastoral leadership. This experience I pray would lead to marriage counseling and Mark revealing to his wife his affair, and true repentance and asking of forgiveness to both his wife, daughters, the woman he had the affair with, and possibly his prior congregation.
Another aspect of the treatment that I believe should be implemented is to seek the possibility of whether or not Mark would be comfortable with Group Spiritual Direction in the future with other Pastors to allow him the opportunity to talk with other Spiritual Leaders, have some accountability in leadership, and have a support group in his new situation with the new church.
I believe that Mark is at a great cross roads in his spiritual journey and that one key element will be for Mark to forgive himself and rest in the love that God has for us, while still acknowledging his improper and immoral acts but not condemning himself, but making true repentance and a turning away from those acts and negative spirits that have hindered him in the past. I also believe that the Holy Spirit having us focus on Mark’s relationship with his wife and Christ’s command for husbands to love their wives the way that Christ loves the church will help set some foundation for healing and understanding in one of his foundational relationships that he is clinging to, which will also allow his clinging to move from solely to his marriage but to God who has the ability to heal the entire situation for his glory.
Calhoun, Part 8, Spiritual Growth Planner - Personal Spiritual Discipline
The two Spiritual Disciplines that I experienced during this course that had the highest connection to my current situation and personal spiritual passion is memorization and journaling. As a part of this course, I prayed and decided to memorize Psalm 23. I was blessed to have memorized it in Hebrew; however, I had not memorized it in English. Throughout the time that I recited Psalm 23 in both Hebrew and English everyday I began to experience the Lord being my Shepherd and leading me into green pastures, but I also began to experience going through the Valley of the Shadow of Death and not being afraid because the Lord is with me. I also saw myself in situations, trials and tribulations where I felt the Lord preparing a table before me in the presence of mine enemies through many vicious rumors and lies that are being told about me regarding my ministry and allegiance to God, but it is through these experiences that I know that I must sit at this table that God has prepared in order to receive the anointing that God has for me and my cup that will overflow. I also have experienced through this time that I don’t have to worry about who has my back because Goodness and Mercy are following me ALL the days of my life, so the arrows and darts that are being thrown can’t penetrate the Armour of God, nor will they get past Goodness and Mercy that God has following me. Through the memorization of Psalm 23 I now identify with David’s feelings in talking to God through this Psalm and the issues that he was facing, but how God brought him through. I praise God for God bringing David through because in placing Psalm 23 in my heart through memorization I now benefit from David standing so that I can stand and honor God through being steadfast in the trials and tribulations that I am in and already have the victory over in Christ Jesus.
Journaling has also been an enormous Spiritual Discipline that has blessed me in my ministry that has impacted my life in a great way. The Lord placed on my heart to Journal for the 40 days after Resurrection Sunday up to Ascension Sunday, and the 10 days then leading up to Pentecost Sunday. Through this Journaling God is revealing so much to me regarding the ministries that he is birthing for the Kingdom of God, as well as, confirmation that I am doing what he has instructed me to do in Kingdom building. The Journaling has also been an outlet for my emotions and a vehicle through which the Holy Spirit is meeting me to record my feelings and his instructions to me in leading others through discipleship unto him.
1 comment:
Thanks Art for your insightful post with many questions for Pastor Mark. Questions are a very vital dimension in spiritual direction. In the midst of all these issues, what is the bottom line? Core issue? In other words, where, when, & how in his past did he decide to meet his emotional needs by crossing boundaries at any price?
It seems that you are demonstrating your spiritual passions in memorization (input/focus) and journaling (output/expression). Your focus upon Psalm 23 is a similar journey that I have had with carrying it in my wallet, back pocket while cycling, and in my morning orientation phase. May the Lord continue to bless each step in your journey!
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